Alfred groggily went downstairs. He didn’t know how fucking tired he was until he came in late last night. He yawned and smelt something delicious. __________ was on the couch drinking coffee and had made him breakfast. He had to admit, he loved having her living here with him. It was better than having some random cunt every week coming by and she actually worries about him. Last night when he got in, he was thrilled to have something to eat and someone play cards with. He had spent the earlier half of the night beating the shit out of, killing, and getting the fuck out of dodge. He was covered in blood and it didn’t seem to bother ________ either way. After that shit with Ivan, he guessed she had an idea what he did every day. He cleaned himself before eating. The last thing he remembered was dozing off on the couch while they watched TV. She must have hauled his carcass to bed. She didn’t notice him coming in. She was obliviously drinking her coffee and watching TV. He remembered the first month she’s been there. She was so terrified of messing up anything she literately was stiff all the time. Now, she was just relaxed, so relaxed that she even took to walking about the house in her pajamas. He didn’t mind that one bit. She was wearing her (f/c) pajamas with her bed head hair. Usually from there, she usually went to class and came home but today was Sunday, so that meant she was his for the rest of the day. He grinned, poured himself some coffee and joined her.
“Morning Puddin’,” he pecked her cheek.
“Puddin’?” she said looking up at him.
“What? I’m trying out nicknames!”
“Whatever happened to babe?”
“Meh, I always call you babe. Oh! Chickie poo!” she snorts.
“That could work,”
“No!” he laughed and wraps his arms around her. So far, she’s been living with him for about five months. She still had her dorm but now she barely used it. He insisted that she had someone to come home to. Most of the time, he was out and his apartment was usually quiet, perfect for her to study or do other things. The first one up usually made breakfast. She didn’t mind making him breakfast. She learned how to cook facon and a few vegan things to keep things interesting. Today, she made soy and regular blueberry pancakes, facon and regular bacon for her, and bran muffins.
“Fuck this is good,”
“Glad you like it. But don’t think you’re going out tonight, you’re resting, you look exhausted,”
“The hell you are and besides, we’re meeting your family for dinner tonight, remember?” Alfred looked up. He almost forgot about that, “I can’t wait to meet the rest of them, are they like Artie and your uncles?”
“No….only my sis in law is pretty okay but Matthew and Francis will get some fucking gettin’ used to,”
“Your sister in law? You’ve mentioned her before,”
“She’s fuckin’ great, she’ll actually make me something vegan, Matt would let me starve if need be,”
“He’s your brother,”
“Half my family hates me, but they'll love you! they have to because you're....awesome,"
“Should I make something?”
“No, really, its fine, (M/RC) has everything covered. Seriously, her cooking is great. If it was Matthew, I would say yes. His idea of cook is taking down a moose, pouring maple all over it and baking it,”
“Ick, I never had moose before, wait did you say take down a moose?”
“Yeah, Matthew can take down a moose and he hunts now and then,”
“How are you two related again?”
“We’ve been together since we were like five. Like I said, his wife is the more…compassionate one. He and Francis, his dad, are well…assholes,”
“Francis…isn’t that Artie’s friend?”
“Yeah, they’ve been together for years. Francis doesn’t like to admit it but he loves Dad around. But just be prepared for anything,” she nodded. Alfred ruffled her hair, “Oh! How about Sugarbritches?”
“NO!” Alfred laughed. She playfully hits him.
“Chickie poo was fine all those others were weird,”
“Nah, I’ve just been fuckin’ with you. How about Cutie Patootie?” she blushed.
“Fine, I swear you’re the oddest man I’ve ever met,” he pulled her into a hard kiss.
“You know you like it,”
“Mattie wake up, we’re having everyone over tonight,” said __________ looking at him. He grunts and rolls over. Sunday mornings at the Williams home usually meant that the couple stayed in bed, then move to the kitchen for breakfast, then veg out on the couch and either watch a movie, hockey game, take a walk, or both would give the other me time and finally around four get ready to go to someone’s house for Artie’s Sunday supper. If it was Artie’s turn, they wouldn’t have a problem, Francis was an excellent cook but sometimes his laziness set in and he would just treat everyone out to an expensive restaurant, however if it was Alfred’s turn, _________ had to make someone for Matthew for later because he hated vegan food. He hated soy, anything that said fake on it, and the bane of his existence, tofu. However, it was their turn to host. __________ and him usually cooked, well Matthew usually took down something and she cooked it. Tonight she was making Cornish game hens for everyone and a small vegetarian lasagna for Alfred.
“Can we just tell them we moved?”
“They’ll hunt us down, sweetie,” He grabbed and pulled her into his chest and cuddled.
“Want you to myself,”
“If you be good, we’ll have the whole night together,” he grunts
“What are you making for dessert?”
“Your favorite, maple cheesecake,” he eased his grip.
“I’ll handle the dishes tonight, just make sure you make another and we’ll have that in bed tonight,”
“We’ll see,” Matthew watched her in the kitchen. He was her gopher and just handed her spices or whatever she needed. If it was up to him, he’d just roast a moose or something but she actually put effort into it, even making Alfred something special. He would rather him starve. Then he noticed five game hens instead of four, “Why are you making five?” he said handing her the pepper.
“Alfred girlfriend is coming over today,” Matthew stopped.
“You know it’s a myth right?”
“Be nice, Mattie,”
“Seriously! What sort of desperate, kinky woman would consider Alfred to be her? I bet she missing a few limbs and do weird ass sex shit,”
“I’m sure she’s a very, hell they probably haven’t even slept together yet,” Matthew laughed hard.
“Good one,” _______ glared.
“Want to make things interesting?” he looked at her. She turned to face him. He smirked.
“What did you have in mind?”
“If I win dinner duty for a month and you have to be my little boy toy every night wearing that sexy butler’s uniform,”
“Okay, if I win, you, the loser, will have to do the same only you’ll be a maid outfit with no panties or bra and whenever I ask, you pour maple all over yourself and let me have my way with you,”
“Deal!” they shook on it. He grabbed her butt and pulled her into him. She squeaked as he whispered in her ear.
“After I’m done with you, you won’t be able to walk again,”
“Seriously Mattie!” he laughed as they finished preparing dinner. Soon everything was finished. Matthew helped her carry everything to the table, “Whew, everything is ready,”
“Good, give me time to do something important,”
“You’re taking a nap aren’t you?” he grabs her and plops her on the couch with him.
“I could always use some company,”
“Mattie!” Artie flung his arms around him. Artie and Francis were the first to arrive an hour later. Matthew caught him and hugged him tightly, “Matthew I can’t breathe!” he eased his grip. Francis brought up the rear and just nodded. He found his corner; (M/RC) had placed his favorite brandy and cigarette brand for by the window. She came out shortly and hugged Francis in his corner. He grunts at her, “Poppet hi!”
“I haven’t see you in ages!”
“It’s only been two days!”
“I still miss you!”
“So when is Alfred’s blow up doll coming?”
“Mattie! It’s an actual young lady! Please be nice to her!”
“Why should I? Alfred’s never been nice to my girlfriends,”
“Yes he has! Remember he offered to buy (M/RC) a pearl necklace,” she blushed and face palmed. Francis sighed from his corner.
“It’s the not pearl necklace you’re thinking of,”
“Even if it would be fake it’s the thought that counts!”
“I still don’t see why I should be nice to her. I’ll treat her like I treat everyone,”
“She’ll be nervous! (M/RC) is different! She’s known you forever! (A/RC) doesn’t know us well,”
“That’s her problem. If she can’t deal with it, then it’s on her,” Artie sighs and pulls (M/RC) into the kitchen. Matthew decided to turn on the game.
“You and (M/RC) made a bet, didn’t you?”
“Yeah, still not looking forward to see her, I bet she’s riddle with STDs,”
“Made a bet with Artie, he’ll have to walk around in nothing but his apron all day and service me whenever I want,” Matthew reddens. He didn’t want to see Artie in nothing, though he and (M/RC) shouldn’t make foolish bets.
(A/RC) was nervous the whole ride to Matthew’s house. She would be meeting Alfred’s brother for the first time. Artie said there would be nothing to worry about because Matthew was just quiet but from Al’s description, he was just outright mean and terrifying and how he was married to someone really nice was odd. It didn’t ease her worry when they going deep into the woods.
“Why does your brother live this far out into the woods?”
“He doesn’t like people and he’s the ranger of the preserve nearby,”
“What about his wife? I bet the commute into town is terrible,”
“She…works from home. She used to work at a bank but her boss was a dick,”
“Oh,” she soon saw a cabin the clearing. She stared. It was a huge cabin. It looked so rustic and inviting with lights inside, “Wow this place is huge,”
“I know. Matt started fixing it up when he found it in middle school,”
“He found it?”
“Yeah, it was a shabby looking shack. I think it was the first house some asshole hunter tried to build thinking he could hunt in a nature preserve but he abandoned the place when the rangers found him and shut him down and it just started to rot away until Matthew found it and just fixed it up,”
“He actually did this all by himself?”
“Nah, (M/RC) helped him a lot and he hired people for the water and electrical shit,” Alfred banged on the door. Artie opened the door.
“You made it!” he hugged his son tightly. Alfred grinned and pats his back. (A/RC) received the same treatment. The house inside was just as inviting. Well furnished, cool, delicious smells of food wafting around the house. When she came inside, she stared at this huge man in front of her. He was tall, wearing a red flannel shirt, with dirty hair, and violet eyes. He looked like a lumberjack or a Canadian police officer. She shrank a bit. His hair curl was lazily bouncing above his head. He looked at her intently.
“H-Hi,” she said smiling at him. He circled her a bit. He even pinched her arm, “Ow!”
“So you’re real. Congrats shit stain, you managed to find a real looking chick,”
“Not a Japanese blow up doll,” they started arguing. Artie pulled (A/RC) out of the ring of fire, right into another blond. He and Matthew looked alike, only difference is the age and this man look scruffier and reeked with cigarette smoke and alcohol. He looked at her. She took a step back.
“(A/RC), this is Francis, Mattie’s father. He’s not the talkative type but he’s very nice once you get to know him.
“Nice to meet you,” she said smiling pleasantly.
“You look familiar,” he said quietly, “But more fidgety like someone is about to kill you,”
“Francis be nice!” by this time, Alfred took out his bat and Matthew grabbed a barbwire wrapped hockey stick. The two were about to go at it when another young woman came and calmly grabbed both weapons and smiled sweetly.
“Dinner’s ready and I don’t want to clean blood off the carpet tonight,” she gave Artie the weapons. She then stopped when she saw (A/RC). Both women stared at each other. Alfred and Matthew stared. Besides the slight age difference and other slight appearances, the pair looked alike. (M/RC) circled (A/RC) and vice versa. They looked at each other closely then backwards. (M/RC) was slightly taller but (A/RC) hair color was slightly darker. Their manner of dress was even different. (M/RC), after living with Matthew for so long had a more rustic style of dress, especially around the house. (A/RC) was dressed like a typical college student, however, Alfred’s influences was sneaking in with her dark color choices. Both smiled at the other.
“Nice to finally meet you. Al told me loads about you,”
“Really? It’s nice to meet you too. Artie has been telling me a lot about you,”
“I’m (M/RC). I hope you like game hens, if not I made veggie lasagna,”
“Umm thanks game hens are fine!” (A/RC) couldn’t help but stare at her in complete awe. She just went in between two weapons as thought it was normal. She either must be crazy or badass and she was leaning more towards badass.
“It’s so good to finally have my two ladies together!” Artie had ushered the two women into the living room with cheesecake and tea, while the men had alcohol in the kitchen. Dinner was a success, everyone regaling old stories, new stories, experiences, and they were careful to not leave (A/RC) out of anything. (M/RC)’s lasagna was so delicious that (A/RC) asked for the recipe to make it for Al sometimes. Francis took a drag from his cigarette. Matthew poured maple into his beer and Alfred guzzled his lager.
“Welcome to you first hen party bastards,”
“What are they going to do?” said Alfred.
“Talk, talk, and more talk,”
“Fuck,” said Matthew, “Fuckin’ Artie is going to turn them into one of those talkative hens,”
“Worst, every single sexual shit you’ve ever done with her is going to be discussed in there,” the pair didn’t look worried. Artie poured tea and the two women. (A/RC) felt a bit nervous. She met Artie before and often talked to him at the Bakery but she never met (M/RC) before. She just couldn’t see someone nice and sweet was married to Matthew or being able to handle Francis. She’s really must be a badass with an innocent face.
“So how long have you been in school, love?” said Artie smiling at her.
“Two years now, I’m going into my third year,”
“Really? That’s great! What’s your major?”
“(major or the major you want),”
“Oh that’s nice! I went to culinary school for baking and business. I hated business but its how I run the bakery and Francis is a huge help when it comes to helping me with the books and things,”
“I wish I could cook, but I’m not really that good,”
“Nonsense! Anyone one can cook if they try! The first thing I’ve made was terrible, then I became just as good as Mumsy,” he grinned, “But let’s dish ladies! How are my boys treating you?” both instinctively blushed. (M/RC) was curious to know (A/RC) relationship with Alfred. The men in the other room were very silent, frightened to know what their women were going to say about them. Francis smirked and decided to relish in it.
“Alfred is amazing. I mean, he can be…affectionate and physical but in the end he’s just so nice,”
“You’re living together, right?” said (M/RC)
“Yeah, he insisted, especially after the Sorority Skanks were messing with me,” he explained the incident where they locked her in the room with the frat boy.
“How rude!” said Artie.
“And Alfred rescued you?”
“Yeah, we spent the night there and went back to his place. The whole time muttering that no one was going to touch my virginity but him,”
“Alfred, the great knight of protecting the virginity…wait he didn’t do anything?”
“No… we…never really have done anything,” the room fell silent. Francis and Matthew turned and stared at him.
“Don’t look surprised, I do have morals,” immediately the pair started laughing.
“A one eyed hermaphrodite hooker with tits has more morals than you,”
“You and Alfred never did anything?” Artie repeated. She shook her head.
“No…well it’s strange, Al is actually not as crazy about sex when we're alone. He wants to wait until I'm ready,” (M/RC) smiled at this. Artie bounced in his seat.
“Really?! How sweet! He turned out better than I thought he did!”
“Yeah, like…the first night we met, I thought he was going to hurt me but he didn’t and he was a perfect gentleman afterwards. I don’t think I would have survived my second year without him,”
“Your first year, did you transfer?” said (M/RC).
“Yeah! I went to a community college in my town first, then transferred to a uni to complete my major,”
“Did you do that?”
“Nah, I got a scholarship and just went through. It were the best years I’ve ever had,”
“Do you miss home?”
“I’m from here but not really,”
“But back to Al…yeah, I know he has a reputation but I’m just so glad he respects you!” Artie said happily, “Alfred really is a good boy, he’s just…odd,”
“For lack of a better term,” said (M/RC).
“Okay (M/RC) your turn! How are things with you and Mattie?” Alfred inched closer to the door. He had to hear this. She smiled and took a sip of her tea.
“Well, to be honest, Mattie is really gentle behind closed doors. I would go further but he’ll never speak to me again if I said more,”
“Gentle? No offense but he looks kind of…”
“Mean, he’s like Al, they're just rough around the edges. You learn that with time,” Matthew smirked. He knew (M/RC) wouldn’t talk about their sex life, “Really, he’s really sweet,”
“Aww you’re sweet!” said Alfred grinning at him, earning his a hit from a fist, “The fuck was that for?!”
“You know why,”
“Like a big squishy polar bear,” (A/RC) couldn’t see Matthew as anything that cuddly.
“I’m so glad that the boys came out so well! Alfred’s a gentleman and Mattie is a good husband!”
“How are things going with you and Francis?” Francis stopped in mid-smoke. Alfred and Matthew grinned at him.
“Well things have been great but he’s been more demanding lately usually he wants me to play French maid for him but now he wants bunny ears and a tail and it’s rather embarrassing but fun! He’s been wanting to try new things like—,” before Artie could continue, Francis bursts into the living room, grabbed Artie, covered his mouth and headed to the door. Artie moved his hands, “I guess it’s that time! I’ll see you both later! It’s been a lovely evening,” Francis grunted something and slammed the door. Alfred and Matthew joined the women in the living room. After a few more drinks, they decided to call it an evening.
“It was great meeting you!” (M/RC) hugged (A/RC) tightly. She cringed. She had a strong grip like her husband. She was still uneasy about Matthew though. They walked them to the door. As they got into the car, she watched the pair. (M/RC) stood on her toes and kissed his cheek. (A/RC) watched as Matthew blushed terribly. He then started nooging and ruffling her playfully with her laughing. Maybe he wasn’t such a bad guy.
“So whatcha think?” ________ looked at Alfred and grinned.
“They’re nice! Matthew’s a bit scary but he seems really nice,”
“Yeah, but make sure (M/RC) is about. His ability to be an asshole became disabled when she’s about,”
“I like her. I think it’s so cute they’ve known each other for that long,”
“Yeah, she’s been a part of the family since we were kids. If you need any questions, she’ll tell you,”
“Serious, she’s really smart and shit. So where to next cutie patootie,”
“You really are going to start using that name?!”
“It’s cute because you’re fuckin’ cute so whatcha want to do?”
“What do you want to do?” he grinned at her.
“Wanna tag along and wreck some shit?”
“You like when I tag along?”
“Yeah! It’s fun when you’re around, so wanna?”
“Okay, but after that, let’s watched Screwed I downloaded for tonight,” he grinned and sped faster.
Matthew finished cleaning up and went upstairs. ________ had the cheesecake ready as promised. He took his shirt and jeans and joined her.
“What do you think about (A/RC)?” he said.
“She looks fuckin’ scared,”
“Would you if a large Canadian towered over, pinched you, and then said you were real?”
“I was just making sure!”
“Be nice to her, Mattie,”
“Why should I?”
“Because she’s a sweet girl who obviously like Alfred,”
“And if he has someone to occupy his attention, he won’t interrupt us that much,” Matthew considered this and took a bite of cheesecake.
“Fine, but you have to show her the ropes. Al is keeping his work from her and that’s not fuckin’ good,”
“I know, but she has some idea of what he does but he’s still going to have to be honest with her about it, especially if she sees him in action one day,”
“I know, I think she thinks that that Valentine’s Day thing with him was his worst but that was only the tip of things he’s capable and actually does. I think it’s cute that he really cares about her,”
“He never fucked her and that’s saying a lot,”
“I know boy toy,” he froze. She grinned at him.
“You’re not really going to—,”
“Not tonight, your butler duties start tomorrow and I will be known as Mistress,”
“You were going to have me wearing no underwear for a month!” He grinned and licked her earlobe.
“It would have been fun to go commando,”
“Just because you do it doesn’t mean everyone likes it,” he smirked and took out a bottle of maple.
“I’m up for food play,”
“I guess I should be grateful that it’s you and not Al,” Matthew snorts.
“I feel sorry for the chick, once those flood gates open, Alfred isn’t going to hold back,”