Once upon a time, there was a big bad reformed Wolf. He was clever, strong, and cunning. However, he met his met when he tackled with the infamous Red Riding Hood. After a series of events, the Wolf aka Lutz as been paroled and paired to Red Riding Hood aka __________ and her grandma and helped take care of the elderly woman. ______________ because of Grandma’s health decided to move into her grandma’s house together with Lutz, who was there because he actually liked Grandma and the hot food and work she gave him. Many of the seniors in the town nearby were at first frightened of the ex con but soon warmed up to him because of his semi pleasant demeanor (and because Grandma often accompanied him to put them at ease) and his handiwork when it came to fixing things for them. Even though he was constantly busy, he still had time to take _________ out on a few dates and they were getting closer and closer to each other.
“Are you really gonna to let her date that man?” said Mrs. Owens. Grandma and her three friends were having this weekly bridge game while Lutz and ___________ worked on their bikes.
“Yes, he’s a good young man,”
“I bet he is,” said Mrs. Parker watching Lutz walk by with __________, “If I was a younger woman…I would so be squeezing those hot buns he has there or feign senile and do it anyway,”
“I love those muscles,” said Mrs. Boudreaux, “Damn those Germans, I’ve always loved a strong rippling man. Reminds me of my Charlie,”
“I remember the men who used to work at the factories back in my day. Oh I loved just watching them sweat and half naked with bulging packages…damn now I got myself all hot,” she started fanning herself, “Of course back then a lady had to act indignant but I used to fantasize about one of them bending me over one of the steel pole, ripping off my panties and having me right then and there,”
“Can you two hear yourselves?!” said Mrs. Owens, “He’s an ex con!”
“Oh lighten up. Ex is the keyword and I wouldn’t let my granddaughter date anyone whom I didn’t trust with my life,” Lutz then strode into the living room. The women went quiet. He nodded to them and grabbed his toolbox. He then stopped in front of the table, gave them a wink and flexed his arms, Mrs. Parker and Mrs. Boudreaux giggled and swooned. Mrs. Owens blushed and hid her face. Grandma laughed, “Get out of here you naughty boy!”
“What? I’m givin’ you all a better view,”
“Out, we don’t need any heart attacks here!” he nodded and walked away making a big effort to shake his ass, “That man…”
“You’re terrible!” said ___________ laughing at him when he came outside.
“What? I’m giving them a free show,”
“You know you like it,” he wrapped her in his arms and nuzzled her neck lovingly, “So, what are you and your cute ass doing tomorrow?”
“I have a very important transport job I have to do tomorrow,” she said, “But I’ll be back in the evening,”
“Good, I’m taking you out,”
“Aren’t gentlemen suppose to ASK a lady if she’s free,” he smirked and pulled her into his chest and licked from her neck to his ear. She blushed badly as he rubbed her bottom and whispered huskily into her ear.
“Are you free tomorrow night?”
“Yes!” she squeaked. He laughed. Her cell phone rang. She fumbled to get it as she saw a reminder on her phone, “Crap!”
“I almost forgot, I have to pick up the Three Sisters from their homes to the rec center tomorrow,”
“Can’t someone else do it?”
“Not really. They’re very skittish. They live alone and only have each other. They live in separate houses still see each other. They don’t really trust people, I think it’s age but once they know someone is coming they’re okay but the rec center is a place where they can have fun and met people their age. They really need it,”
“I’ll do it,”
“Lutz, seriously, they are very skittish and can be a bit difficult,”
“I said I can do it. You have a reputation to uphold,”
“Aww thanks, I’ll call Mrs. Practical and tell her you’re coming, that should make things easier. But you have to approach them very delicately. They’re very sensitive, they’re widows and things can be very frightening to them,” Lutz listened to ____________ as she rambled on. He’s been around these old people for months now and it’s been a breeze, how difficult can three little old ladies be?
In the next town over, there lived three sisters. Each of the sisters was widows but kind women who lived alone and didn’t want to live in a retirement community but in the homes their husbands worked for. Through they were independence, they learned to rely on each other and be very leery of strangers. They loved on the other side of the bridge that connected them to town. There was Mrs. Fifer, who since relied on a motorized wheelchair to keep her going. She lived closer to the city and had the Straws Security System installed so she could feel safe. Mrs. Fiddler lived on the a few blocks away. She had to rely on a cane to get her from place to place and used the Sticks Security System as her method of safety. The last sister, Mrs. Practical lived a few blocks away from her. She was the most independent and only one who didn’t need a walker to support her. She was also the smartest sister who got the state of the art Bricks Security System.
“You two really need to think about getting Bricks. They’re really good and cheaper in the long run than Straw and Sticks,” said Mrs. Practical.
“Stop being an old nag,” said Mrs. Fifer, “We feel safe enough,”
“Besides, no one ever comes to us and bothers us,” said Mrs. Fiddler.
“There’s always that one chance,” she said, “And don’t say didn’t warn you when the time comes,” it was a fateful afternoon that would make the sisters soon change their minds. Just as Mrs. Fifer reached her front door, she saw a motorcycle pull up in front of her gate. She froze in her tracks as a large, muscular man gets off. He took off his helmet revealing shaggy blond hair, a large scar on his face, and purple eyes. He waltzed up her.
“Hey, are you Henrietta Fifer?” she nodded, “Good, come on let’s go! We’re goin’ for a ride!” the old woman screamed and wheeled herself into her house and slammed the door, “Hey! Come out here! I just want to talk!”
“G-Get lost! You can’t come in here!” Lutz looked around and saw the security box in her backyard. Mrs. Fifer’s Straw Security was no match for Lutz’s clever wit as he disarmed it. He burst through the door looking for the old woman.
“Hey come on out!” he growled and looked out for the woman, “Damn it hear me out! I’m not gonna hurt ya!” the house was still and quiet. He looked around. He saw a lot racing paraphernalia in the old woman’s home. He found a picture and stared. It was the woman in her younger years with her husband next to what looked like a racing car. He couldn’t believe it, she was the wife of Richard Fifer, one of the fastest racers in the world. Then he said what sounded like a motor. He turned just in time to see Mrs. Fifer zooming out the door in a motorized wheelchair, goggles, and gloves. He took him a few seconds to register and ran after her, “GET BACK HERE!”
“Up yours, Wolf!” he hopped on his motorcycle and zoomed after her. She was fast but so was he. However, before he knew it, she kicked it up to second gear and was almost out of sight. He shifted into high gear and almost caught up to her, only to see her zoom inside a gate. She zoomed into her sister’s house and slammed the door. Lutz stepped on the brake to keep from slamming into the gate. He growled. He dialed ___________’s number.
“Is there anything you’d like to tell me about these three ladies?”
“Okay, okay well, the sisters are well…eccentric. Mrs. Fifer’s husband was an ex formula one racer back in his day and when got sick, she took over for a short while. They owned a mechanic shop for a few years and she used to rebuild engines in her spare time. Why did you ask?”
“You could have told me! Especially since she just zoomed out of here on muscle wheelchair!” she laughed.
“That’s new. Did you approach them like I told you?” he was silent, “Lutz….”
“Lutz! You have to approach them gently! Listen, I’m almost done with my job. It went a lot smoother than expected. I’ll meet you there in an hour! Meet me at Mrs. Practical’s house,”
“Are there any more surprises I should know about?”
“Not to my knowledge, oh wait, Mrs. Fiddler was some sort of street performer back her in her day but that’s all I know, see you in a bit,” Lutz groaned and decided to once again take matters into his own hands, again. He banged on the door.
“Open the door lady!”
“Kiss my wrinkled ass, Wolf!” he growled and noticed the security box and started to disarm the Sticks Security System. As soon as it was disarmed, the house was vulnerable. He kicked and kicked and kicked and the door flew opened. He stepped into the house. He’s been around the so to say for awhile and he knew a lot of underworld dealings. Three little old ladies were not going to trip him up. Inside he saw pictures of the woman’s family. He saw her with her sisters, her and her husband on their wedding day, and a few of their children. But something caught his eye. He noticed a picture of Mrs. Fiddler in nothing but a tank top and shorts when she was in her twenties. This wouldn’t have struck him as odd if she wasn’t in an abandoned drive in with cars behind her. She had a pair of brass knuckles on her hands and a lead pipe in the other looking deadly. He then noticed a few other things. She was covered in scars; she had a bandage on her face. He was about to move on when he heard a thump upstairs.
“Ow, Ooow! Ohhhhh! I’ve fallen and can’t get up!”
“You okay granny?”
“Ohhh ow!” Lutz bound upstairs. He couldn’t imagine the type of trouble he could get into if there was a dead old lady. He saw Mrs. Fiddler on the ground motionless. He slowly went to see if she was okay. He was close to her when her leg came flying up into his crotch. Lutz doubled over holding himself as the same leg hits him square in the chest. He got up. Mrs. Fiddler was glaring at him holding her cane out in front of her, “You wanna dance? Let’s dance!” Lutz was not about to beat the living shit out of an old woman but he wasn’t going to let her kill him. She ran at him and with her cane. He blocked it and immediately regretted it. Her cane was made out of steel. She smirked and took out another and hooked his leg. He fell with a thud. The steel cane came down. He caught it and twisted it out of her hands. She struggled to keep hold on it as he got up. He leered at her. He didn’t want to her as he ripped the cane away.
“Now, let’s try this again lady, I’m here—,” before he could get the other words out, a pair of brass knuckles caught him with a right. He toppled against the wall as Mrs. Fiddler hustled to her chair lift. Lutz got up just in time to see her riding down. She called out to her sister.
“Start your wheelchair, Rochelle!” Lutz got up and went after the woman. Mrs. Fiddler was downstairs now and sitting on her sister’s lap.
“Eat our dust you asshole!” Mrs. Fiddler gave him the finger and she and Mrs. Fifer zoomed out the door.
“THAT’S IT!” Lutz ran outside and got on his bike and went after the pair. For a motorized wheelchair, it was fast and he was STILL in second gear. Soon, they reached Mrs. Practical’s house, where the sisters zoomed into the gate, up the ramp, and safely into the house. Mrs. Practical started scolding her sisters.
“I told you two to invest in a Bricks Security System!”
“We know, we know! We have to call the police!” said Mrs. Fiddler
“Not with our rap history!” said Fifer, “I’m too old to be goin’ into the pen!”
“We’re good, the stature of limitations is over,” said Mrs. Practical, “Besides, he cut the lines but we have to made him disappear before __________ comes! I don’t want that bastard to hurt her when she gets here. You do go upstairs and I’ll handle everything from down here,” Lutz started pounding on the door.
“Open up! You three are really starting to piss me off!” Lutz however, didn’t know what he was up against. Mrs. Practical served in WWII as a field nurse, later turned soldier after their camp was ambushed. She and four other nurses survived by laying waste to as many Italians that came their way. Impressed, the US military kept her stationed in Europe until the US fought Korea where she was a guerilla fighter, and finally settling down and marrying late to a very sweet man, who was an ex-mercenary who taught her everything he knew. The door slowly swung open. He stared and walked into the house. He stepped into the living and all the lights turned off. Bars fell down onto the windows and the door slammed behind him. He looked around. He was scared now. What the fuck was going on? He ran to the door and it was locked. Suddenly he was grabbed by his hair with a knife at his throat. He froze and held his hands up.
“Smart man, now, what the hell are you doing in MY house and harassing me sisters?!”
“You don’t understand! I’m here to take you all to—,”
“He’s lying, Florence! He doesn’t have the bus!” said Mrs. Fifer, “He must be working for someone,”
“Or worst! I think he did something to poor innocent _____________!” said Mrs. Fiddler, “She’s usually the one who does this for us!”
“Is that right?! What did you do to her you bastard?!”
“I didn’t do anything to her!”
“Not talking huh?! Okay ladies, string him up,” Mrs. Fiddler smirked at Lutz, “I’ll make you talk!”
“Mrs. Practical! I’m here!” ___________ arrived within forty-five minutes. She used the key hidden in the fake brick and opened the door. The sight that greeted her was amazing yet horrifying. Lutz was had cuts and bruises all over and roared like a bear as three little old ladies were restraining his with ropes, wire, barbwire, and a net while assaulting him over and over. Mrs. Fiddler was whacked him over and over with her cane while Mrs. Fifer kept ramming his ass with her wheelchair, and Mrs. Practical had turned a hose on him from her garden and blasted him with a jet stream of water, “HEY STOP! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”
“_____________!” Mrs. Fiddler stopped, “Step back honey! We’re almost got him!”
“Wait stop! Did you get my message?!”
“I called you this morning about Lutz coming over to take you three to the activities center this afternoon!” Mrs. Practical stopped. She turned off her hose and shuffled to her answering machine. There was indeed one new message.
Hi Mrs. Practical! This is ______________! I won’t be able to take you and your sister to the rec center tomorrow but Lutz will come instead! He has blond hair, purple eyes, and a scar on his cheek. I know he looked intimidating but he’s very nice! Just let your sisters know he’s coming. I know how fragile they can get. See you tomorrow!
Upon hearing the message, the ladies immediately stopped and untied a very wet, very bruised Lutz. They looked ashamed and scared.
“Honey we are SO sorry,” he glared at them as Mrs. Practical poured him a stiff whiskey and gives it to him. He downs it quickly.
“Living alone, we can’t take any chances,” said Mrs. Fifer
“And you looked so shady!” said Mrs. Fiddler.
“And if you three broads would have LISTENED to me and asked me what I was doing, I could have told you I was from the Rec Center and showed you my badge! But I have to admit, I’ve been around some of the shadiest people in my life but you three were the first to get a drop on me,”
“We have a few decades on you sweetheart,” said Mrs. Practical.
After the three grannys were taken safely to the rec center, Lutz decided that he didn’t want to go out tonight. Grandma heard about the ordeal made Lutz his favorite meal as ___________ and waited on him hand and foot for the rest of the night.
“You poor thing,” said Grandma patting his hand.
“You should have listened to me,” said ___________ giving him a beer.
“What kind of sick twisted hags tortures people?!”
“I told you they were skittish,”
“And they’ve been alone for so long that it’s just hard for them to trust anyone, especially after their husbands died. Being old is frightening Lutz, we just can’t take that chance,”
“And it doesn’t help that you’re an ex con,” he sighs.
“I know, I know…” he felt rather bad now. He was going to become old someday and so was __________ and he’d want someone to watch over her if he was gone. The next morning, he decided to visit the sisters. According to _____________, the sisters had afternoon lunch at Mrs. Fiddler’s on Wednesdays. He knocked on the door armed with a basket of treats. Mrs. Practical opened the door, “I come in peace,”
“Oh come in, come in!” Mrs. Practical ushered him into the living room and sat him on the couch, “Listen, we really wanted to—,”
“No, no…I just wanted to say I didn’t mean to scare you all yesterday. _____________ told me to approach you three delicately but I didn’t factor in that you were all living alone and had to be extra cautious. So…here’s what I’ll do, if you want, I can visit you all every few days to make sure you’re okay. I’m also a handyman and after me causing damages to your homes, I want to fix them,” the ladies were speechless. Lutz gave him his number, “And it doesn’t even have to be just maintenance work, if you want to yanno, talk or something or just need a man around, I can help,” the sisters smiled at him.
“We’d like that,” said Mrs. Fifer.
“And we wanted to show our appreciation of showing us our security systems were shit,” said Mrs. Fiddler, “So we were all going to surprise you with a homemade supper,”
“Five courses actually!” said Mrs. Practical, “Please say you’ll come tomorrow and maybe you can tell us where you got your scars from,”
“If you all tell me what kind of shit you’ve three been through,”
“That’s a lot of shit,” said Mrs. Fifer, “Let’s make a day of it! Bring _________ too! She does so much for us!”
“It’s a date,”
Hi guys! Here's another request by popular demand, a slight sequel to the Red Riding Hood fic silver-kitsuneneko.deviantart.… Keeping with the fairytale theme, I scoured my knowledge for another Big Bad Wolf centered story and the The Three Little Pigs came up. I was thinking about this around the holidays and started on it and decided to finish it n,n for those of you who aren't familiar with the story here's the text (darker version) www.pitt.edu/~dash/type0124.ht… and here's the audio I grew up on www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZAPIsM… As always enjoy and forgive the mistakes!
I don't own you or Hetalia
Watch out for the BADASS GRANNIES !!!
I love your 2p!GermanyxReader stories! Are you going to write another one to this series or your Beilschimdt Family series?
Lol, that was freaking awsome! I was laughing so hard!
love it and the other one two, nice job :3
xD I want to be a kick-ass grandma when I'm older!
I was laughing the whole story! XD
this is awesome!
Those old ladies are fucking bad ass!!!
I want to be like that now xD
just as the others have said before me it's hilarious as hell!!
I give you a 100 out of a 1-10 scale on this story
I want to be like that now xD
just as the others have said before me it's hilarious as hell!!
I give you a 100 out of a 1-10 scale on this story
i can only hope that one day, i am as badass as those three granny sisters. because they took down Lutz. with even some ease!!!!!
this was hilarious, just like the person below me stated
this was hilarious, just like the person below me stated
This was hilarious!
This is one of the best 2p!Germany stories I've read. It was so funny, too!
QAQ!!! poor Luz! and then he goes and APPOLIGISES! gah! how much sweeter can you get?!
He's a shameless asshole but he's nice to the elderly. Besides it's not every day he gets his ass handed to him so well ><
This is like an even awesomer version of Hoodwinked I love that movie
Omg me too! It's so cute and I just loved the charries POV of what really happened.
There are no words to explain how much I love this! And oh, sweet old oldies can be very perverted! I can only hope for such badassry when I'm older...
I know right?! I can't wait to get so old that I can walk into a men's locker room and feign senile when I get caught.
the tears of laughter I shed for this X'D its brilliant!
LOL Thanks. Lutz needed to be knocked down a few pegs lol
I don't know if its just me but im pretty sure that's what old ladies are really like under that sweet exterior :T
I swear there's evil in those sweet smiles! I had an old Irish nun as my teacher back in high school. Sweet woman who showed me how to pinch pennies lol. When I get that age I will feign senile and find my way into men's locker rooms all the time...>>
I like this one it sounds like me in about 50-60 years
......me in 85 years.....
damn...those ladies are like me when I get old and retire...
*shakes head* Poor Lutz. He got beat up by old ladies.
<3 I love this! It's just like totally awesome! I mean-three old badass ladies! xDD
Very well done!
Very well done!
That's it. I love you. Every damn one of these stories are to amazing for my mortal eyes. In all seriousness this was really awesome.
Awww thanks sweetie! I was cracking up when I was thinking about it and going through my head. I'm just glad you all liked it!
this was pure genius!! loved it omg i was laughing at their security systems! and those grannys are soo awesome! poor lutz though getting handed by grannies lol but he is soo sweet to help them out now... awesome story as always ^O^
LMAO! I really needed a way to squeeze in the straw, stick, and brick thing and then I thought about Lutz huffing and puffing and after I laughed my ass off, I thought that was the best thing and hoped no one missed it LOL He thought they were demon possessed then he thought about him getting that old or Reader-chan and then he figured why they beat his ass.